Stockings

In the past two months, I have made a profound discovery, and I knew you'd all like me to share it with you:

Department store stockings are WAY better than grocery store stockings, and well worth the money. Since I have never had occasion to wear stockings on a regular basis in the past 52 years, and since I now wear them significantly more often than I would care to, even though it is not as often as I would have had to wear them had the missionaary department not changed the dress standards for the sister missionaries, (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, missionary department!!!) I would just like you all to know that even though department store stockings cost, on average, double what grocery store stockings cost, they last longer and are at least 400% more comfortable than their counterpart. If anyone smarter in math than me (Now there's a limited pool of human beings!) would like to do a cost:longevity:comfort analysis and give me a ratio of the benefit of department store stockings, I'd love to have it.

Soon, I'm going to start a contest to see who can write the longest run-on sentence in the world. I win, hands down. Ms. Swan is rolling over in her grave, I'm sure.