Not Climbing Mount Olympus

In Greek mythology Olympus was regarded as the "home" of the Twelve Olympian gods of the ancient Greek world. It formed itself after the gods defeated the titans in the Titan War, and soon the palace was inhabited by the gods. It is the setting of many Greek mythical stories. Olympus was not shaken by winds nor ever wet with rain, nor did snow fall upon it, but the air is outspread clear and cloudless, and over it hovered a radiant whiteness.

There is a Mount Olympus in Utah, too. It stands majestically in the East Zone, protecting our Utah Salt Lake City missionaries from all the evil in the world. To hike it, one must walk about 6.4 miles, which takes a good 6 hours. You will gain 4,200 feet of elevation on your trek. It is a wonderful, challenging hike. Here is a picture of Mount Olympus on Monday, August 15,2011:


We did not climb Mount Olympus on that day. That is an absurdly long hike for a P-day that only goes from 10:30 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. and must include grocery shopping, doing your laundry, cleaning your apartment and writing home. So we hiked a mountain directly across the valley from Mount Olympus instead. We don't know the name of our mountain. The sign said our hike would be about 4 miles round trip. We think the sign was missing a zero, and it was actually about a 40 mile hike. We also think we gained about 10,000 feet of elevation before we had reached the top. Speaking from experience, I am certain that the mountain we climbed was far more difficult than hiking Mount Olympus would have been! Kristi joined the missionaries and me that day. See how happy we are? That's because we haven't begun the climb yet.
Utah is so silly. Like as if the dogs in Utah can read AND they know the day of the month AND they know the difference between even numbers and odd numbers! Utah is so silly.
Look! Everyone in the group is happy! That is because none of us have started hiking yet! This is the advance party. We started the climb first, to prepare the way for those who would follow. Our party included Elder Calderwood, Elder Dodge, Elder Carter, Elder Tory, Elder Lynn, Elder Treilhard, Elder Sorensen, Sister Bates, Sister Winn and Sister Anitema. Kristi Winn Bennett was with us too, but someone had to take the picture.

Sister Bates led the way, fearlessly fording the swiftly running wild rivers of Utah that valiantly tried to stop her. There is no stopping a Utah Salt Lake City Sister Missionary!

Once we crossed the raging river, we were rewarded by this beautiful view of the lush green mountains and valleys of Utah.

Elder Purcell and Elder Burrell were not in the advance party, but their party soon caught up to us. In an astounding show of companionship unity, Elder Purcell and Elder Burrell decided not only to have rhyming names, but to wear matching tee shirts as well! Soon, they were yodelling together as they climbed the mountainside like so many wild goats.

Kristi and I are not too far along our way, so we are still smiling. But we are begining to question our sanity. By this time, everyone else has passed us up. We walked slowly, so as to make the elders feel better about their masculinity.

As you can clearly see, their masculinity is doing just fine and they are WAY ahead of us. We are quite certain that if this trail really only was two miles long, we would be at the top by now.

"We're not there yet? Are you kidding me?!?!"

At long last, we reach the top, where the elders have been waiting patiently for us for about an hour or so.

It really offers a beautiful view, this mountain which has no name.

Much to our delighted surprise, our lengthy and arduous trek is suddenly worth every bit of the effort extended! We are more than compensated for our hike by an extraordinary sighting of the rare and exquisite Mount Olympus Assistant-Byrd!!!! Right there, at the peak of our mountain which has no name, the assistant-byrd is nesting. He contentedly sits in his nest, overlooking the Salt Lake Valley and the Utah Salt Lake City Mission. What a treasure this sighting is, to see such a handsome specimen in its natural habitat!

Not only that, but he isn't the least bit shy. He offers a friendly smile to all of us. This is the nicest assistant-byrd ever!

He also seems to be very intelligent, for an assistant-byrd. As he sits on his nest, contemplating the universe, we read the wisdom expressed on the back of his tee shirt. Yes, this is the most amazing assistant-byrd in all the world!

There are other treasures to be found on the top of the mountain. Elder Purcell, we discover, is actually a closet flower child from the 60's.

Elder Salisbury really is ALWAYS serious!

Elder Fili can climb a mountain even better than he can climb a coconut tree. He didn't even fall off! (Thankfully!)

Elder Sorensen has some fine looking legs, and other well kept secrets.

The last exciting part of the day was what I shall entitle: "Elder Calderwood vs. the lizard"

And a good time was had by all on the mountain which has no name.