April Fools!

Although I was in Delaware on April 1st this year, I must remind you all that April 1st is an event, not a date.  You may have an April Fools Day on any day you choose, and this year I chose the 5th of April.  While in Delaware, I happened to see Lacey Seldon, who graciously shared a new trick with me.  (Shout out to Lacey - you're the best!!)  If you take clear nail polish, and cover a bar of soap with it, it still looks like a bar of soap, and feels like a bar of soap, but in the shower, no matter how hard you try, it simply won't lather up!  What a fabulous idea!

Bruce played right into my hands.  On the way home from the airport, he mentioned that he was out of soap and asked if I would pick some up the next time I was at the grocery store.  I smiled, and happily told him that I would be glad to!  That very day, I purchased two bars of soap.  I also decided that as long as I was going to play a practical joke, I may just as well include all of the men in my house.

Once at home, I gathered up all the body wash from all the showers.  I took them in my bathroom, and dumped them all out.  I lined up the body wash bottles and carefully replaced the body wash with lotion.  I painted the bar soap with nail polish, and while it was drying, I began to mix food coloring with the lotion to make the blue and green colored body wash, and Hershey's syrup with lotion to make the cocoa butter body wash.  In the middle of my concoctions, with the bathroom smelling of enough nail polish to be a salon, Bruce walked in.  "Rats!" I thought, "I forgot to lock the bathroom door!"  He looked at me, and at the stuff on the counter and asked what I was doing.  I smiled innocently, feigned frustration, and replied, "I've made a terrible mess, and I'm trying to clean it up."  He shrugged, turned around, and left the bathroom.  I don't understand him at all.  Thirty-four years of marriage, and he is still so trusting!

I painted two bars of soap, placed one in the shower and returned one to its box, glued the box shut and put it in the bathroom drawer.  I put the body wash bottles, filled with lotion, back into the showers.  Then, I waited.

David was my first victim.  He was also the smartest, or maybe the dumbest, of all the men in the house.  He came out of the shower, and shouted, "Hey!  What's up with the body wash in the shower?  It smells like chocolate pudding, but I tasted it, and it's not!"  Hence, the smartest, since he noticed something right away, and the dumbest, because, really????  Who eats stuff that is in the shower????

Bruce was next.  He came out of the shower and said, "Real funny, Nancy!  Really funny April Fools joke, you bought a plastic bar of soap and put it in the shower!"  I informed him that I had better things to do with my time than go around buying plastic bars of soap, and I didn't even know where to get one of those anyway.  I told him that I had purchased two bars of soap and maybe the one in the shower was defective or something.  I said that he could throw it away and there was a box in the drawer with another bar of soap in it for him to use.  He marched into the bathroom, got out the box and opened it up.  Then he looked at the soap, sheepishly apologized to me for falsely accusing me of playing a practical joke, and told me that obviously the soap was shrink wrapped, and he had neglected to remove the shrink wrapping. (Sometimes, I almost feel bad.)

Elder Larson came out of the shower and said that something was weird with his body wash, so he just used the cocoa butter one instead. (That would be the lotion with the Hershey's syrup in it.)  Elder Purcell came out of the shower and mentioned that his soap was really runny, and he thought maybe some water got into it.  I told him that sometimes liquids could separate, and maybe he just needed to shake it up.  Then I said, "But your skin feels really soft now, doesn't it?"  He rubbed his arm.  "Yeah, it does," he said.  None of them seemed to think it was odd that all of them were having soap problems. 

Bruce spent about half an hour the next day carving the "shrink wrap" off of his soap with a nail file.  None of the men figured out anything until Saturday night, when President and Sister Winn were speaking at a stake conference.  I followed a speaker who talked about the importance of keeping your marriage alive through the years by going on dates, and continuing to court each other.  I began my talk by saying, "The way that I keep my marriage alive through the years is by playing practical jokes."  Then, I confessed to Bruce that his shrink wrap really wasn't shrink wrap at all.

APRIL FOOLS!!!! 

He is so lucky to be married to me!